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But rather, someone who, like me, actually believes that fat can be beautiful and sexy and fuckable.

Much like someone could believe that thinness can be beautiful and sexy and fuckable.

I think the reason I — and many fat women I know — have encountered a plethora of dudes ashamed of admitting their attraction to us is because they don't believe they are allowed to do so without being ridiculed.

I think it's why some will describe dating as a plus size woman to be "more of an exercise in patience and frustration than it is one in romance." Li tells me, "Large people have the same needs and desires for positive attention and love [as] thin people," but to a lot of people, that doesn't seem obvious yet.

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Size discrimination runs rampant, and it affects everything from healthcare to employment to media to the size of seats on public transportation to the self esteem of individuals.I've been in a relationship with my current partner for over four years.But if anything ever happened, I'd want to be with another someone who actually loves my body. This isn't to be confused with "someone who loves me for my body," and only that.A couple of years ago, I decided I'd never date anyone else who was interested in me "despite" or "regardless of" my body.After years of humans who — no matter how kind or clever or fun they were otherwise — always seemed to have the kind of superiority complex that told them that, deep down, they were doing me a favor by dating a fat girl, I was over it.

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