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If you had known us 25 years ago, Dan, you would not have given us good odds.We'd been dating only a year and a half when we got engaged, and we'd known each other less than two years.I was a virgin, my wife was not, together we hadn't gotten much past second base, and neither of us had laid our kink cards on the table.We were (and still are) introverts with poor communication skills and anxiety/depression/mental-health issues.So with the help of counseling, I got him on board with dirty talk during sex (because it's important for me) and I worked (and still work) on telling him what to do when we bone.He can't read my body language, so a lot of the improvement came down to me being more comfortable with giving him instructions.

We didn't speak about it for a week, and then she calmly asked me if I wanted to do this with her instead of just watching porn about it. I have some physical ailments that can make sex painful.

And did they ever: My inbox is packed with e-mails from couples whose sex lives got better after the wedding. But we were both in our early 40s and ready to settle down.

I was a very experienced woman (five years as a swinger and partners numbering in the high double digits) when I first met the man who would become my husband. We also had an amazing friendship, and we were never as happy apart as we were together. We went from once a month to a couple times a week. It's not as frequent as it once was, but it's really good when we have it. Am I the first or the hundredth person to write in? I suspect you don't see it in your inbox very often because this isn't what most people would consider a problem and we don't want to waste your time!

I did allow for the possibility that my sample was skewed; people with good sex lives don't write to tell me everything's fine.

So I invited people whose so-so sex lives improved after the wedding to write in.

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