Lds sex hookups
What I found in the LDS dating as an over 30 divorced woman was that the men in my demographic, almost without fail, were fishing in the 20-year old pond. Well, with over 25 men contacting me from one LDS dating site, only one was within 5 years of my age. On the converse side, a male dinner companion from the other night was telling about his dating site experience. So in the spirit of sociological experimentation, he created a bombastic, misogynistic ***hole of an imaginary RM, with a picture of a super Mormon looking dude he cribbed from a google search, tossed in every buzzword he could imagine, and the hits started rolling. Some imaginary jerkwad who told women he would “preside over them in righteousness” while they “fulfilled their roll in the kitchen and bedroom” was getting all sorts of emails from cute girls with Utah hair and Shade t-shirts, while a real, genuine, nice guy was watching dust collect and listening to crickets chirp.He put up a nice photo of himself, with a sincere and honest profile. Back to the one guy who was in my demographic, age-wise: I agreed to go out on a date.Since my divorce over three years ago, I’ve written here and there on my adventures in the dating scene, or what I like to think of as the Pool of Perpetual Enforced Adolescence, which some LDS websites non-ironically and with a straight face, call “Celestial Dating”.Whether you’re LDS or not, dating past a certain age is just a slog.Church-leadership and members are facing a relatively new challenge, or at least a more punctuated challenge relative to our history.While single adults have always been a part of our faith community, the demographic of the church is changing with individuals remaining single longer.The other night, over dinner with friends, we got to talking about dating in the LDS world.
Yes, I know it’s typical (just like height- see sidebar) for women to be slightly younger than their husbands.
Unequivocally, the way that we talk to youth, singles, and marrieds about sexuality exposes how much we want all sexual thought and behavior to be contained to the presumably safe context of marriage.
And given our religious ideals and desires, it makes having this conversation about singles and sexuality, in any meaningful or substantive way, quite challenging.
When I told a friend recently that I would be presenting in NYC on Singles and Sexuality, she smiled and asked “Is there any overlap between those two topics? ” Of course, what is comical about her question is that it exposes the deep-seated desire among us, especially among those of us who are married, to pretend that the sexuality of Single Mormons does not exist, or shouldn’t exist, if one is good.
We are a faith that values marriage and family and sexual chastity very highly.