Fat and thin people dating
Fat people are told over and over that there simply isn’t enough space for fat bodies.
Of course, for me, there is no understanding of my own privilege, power, or identity as a middle-class, queer-ish, white woman that isn’t also about being a middle-class, queer-ish, white woman.
At the same time, fat people, especially fat women, are supposed to pretend we don’t exist or that we’re not fat.
I can’t count the number of times thin people have made reference to fat people or fatness in a negative or joking way in front of me, from the petite woman sitting next to me at the coffee shop complaining about fat people on airplanes, to my friends who routinely make jokes about their “inner fat kids” coming out when they eat a lot, to the women in my family who compete to see who can look the thinnest in family photos.
That fat women have things to say to other people about the relationships between their body types and their romantic lives barely seems to register on the larger cultural radar.
Discussing the politics of desire takes major guts in our culture, especially as a fat person.
Most people still believe they don’t need to question their own reactions to fatness and fat people or how those reactions affect us.
Many people still regard fatness as the exclusive problem of fat people.
Vanessa wasn’t just recounting her experience of dating as a fat woman; she was demanding recognition that she was worthy of respect and love in a culture hell-bent on denying fat women both.But he didn’t start it, and plenty of men were already eager to have it.” Weiss, while seeming to advocate for fat women, is actually talking about fat women’s experience for us and redirecting the conversation to be one among men. K., leaving Vanessa and other fat women out of the conversation once again.Weiss misses the point that Vanessa is crucially initiating a conversation with a man she desires—a point glossed over too quickly by Nussbaum in her rush to point out that isn’t the first show to broach the topic of fat women’s sexuality or romantic lives.Self-appointed spokesperson for hetero, male “chubby chasers” (his preferred term) and author of the blog Ask a Guy Who Likes Fat Chicks, Dan Weiss also weighed in on the monologue, taking to task for ignoring men who prefer fat women.He lamented in an article for The Concourse, “Vanessa would have far less trouble getting someone to hold her hand in real life, and while this was every bit the excellent, conversation-starting was perceptive enough to join the conversation.